Please excuse the still image of my video, I tried to change it but was having issues.
On that note, the feedback that I received was to increase the length of my video and to name who my client audience is, I improved both.
On my own personal reflection, I have severe speech anxiety and while I saw some pretty stellar pitches, I am happy with the progress I have made from pitch one. On this particular video I felt like I could have slowed down how fast I was talking and despite numerous takes, this was the best ending - yet I felt it was abruptly cut short, I'm still ok with my personal growth in this assignment as a whole.
I totally feel you on the whole speech anxiety thing, but I can honestly say I think this is a great pitch! I've seen some pretty boring/ unenthusiastic ones but your tone and hand motions are perfect. My only conern with the actual content though is what if your assistant can't drop everything they're doing right away? I just don't know if it's plausible to be honest. I noticed you were against the idea of hiring on a monthly or weekly basis, but weekly might be easier and then you could possibly have your on call days? Like if you know Wednesday is going to be super busy, give your assistant a heads up on Tuesday and say they will be on call the following day. Just a suggestion, good job though!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicole!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on your pitch. You are very optimistic and it really shines through. It's easy to understand what your product is and how it will work. My only suggestion would be to slow down (and I often fall into the same trap!), but you already mentioned that in your post. Ways to 'remember' to slow down could be to have set "breaks" in your speech. For example, before you start talking about how the business will work, have a mental note to take a deep breath between points. If you have flashcards (which are completely okay in a speech) just have ones that say "take a deep breath" so you remember. Finally-- if you think that you're talking too fast while reciting your pitch, you probably are! Just remember that it's never too late into a pitch to slow down a little :)
I couldn't tell that you have speech anxiety. If you don't tell anyone, then no one will notice :) It can be hard to be confident, but most people won't notice something unless you specifically point it out. If you accidentally say something wrong, just go with the flow like you meant to say it like that! Practice really does make perfect, so just keep trying and you'll get better.
Good luck!
Take a look over at my post here: http://memazal.blogspot.com/2016/03/third-times-charm-elevator-pitch-no-3.html
I think your post was great and one of the best ones I have seen. Your pitch itself was well thought out and had a lot of good details in it. I think your idea is great but I don't think someone will be able to just drop what they are doing to run errands for you. The only way I see that working is to maybe raise the price to 50 dollars for your personal assistant to do errands that were planned before hand.
ReplyDeleteHey Nicole,
ReplyDeleteIts great to be honest with yourself but I think this speech was great. You seemed genuine, used appropriate gestures, and had some enthusiasm! I believe if you keep being honest with yourself and keep embracing criticism you will continue to improve. Keep working out the kinks in your business plan and best of luck! http://ent3003brandonsanchez.blogspot.com/2016/03/elevator-pitch-no-3.html